According to a new survey, Republicans have better sex than Democrats. That is, when asked about their satisfaction with their sex lives, R’s give better responses in higher numbers than Democrats. Now, the obvious and probably correct explanation for the phenomenon is that men are both more likely to identify as Republicans and more likely to say they enjoy their sex lives, whereas women are more likely to identify as Democrats and less likely to say they enjoy their sex lives.
But why settle for a simple and correct explanation when you can have a more complex economic one? Naturally, I have a theory. It seems reasonable to assume sex has diminishing marginal returns within a given time period. Your first act in a week brings the highest added satisfaction, your second act less satisfaction, your third even less than the second, etc. Each act is still satisfying, and thus increases your total satisfaction – but at the same time, it will decrease your average satisfaction per sex act. For instance, if your first and second sex acts brought satisfaction of 9 and 7 respectively, your total is 16 and your average is 8. But if you have a third sex act with a satisfaction of 5, your total rises to 21 while your average falls to 7.
So here’s my hypothesis, for which I have no evidence whatsoever: Democrats have more sex than Republicans, and when surveyed people tend to report their average satisfaction per sex act rather than their total satisfaction. Alternatively, people might report their satisfaction as a function of their most recent sex acts. Republicans, having had fewer sex acts, are likely to report a high marginal value, whereas Democrats, having had more, are likely to report a low marginal value.