MRS. MARSH: How was school today, Stanley?And how’s this for commentary on the motivations of Sean Penn, P. Diddy, and others urging young people to vote?
STAN: It was ridiculous. We have to have a new school mascot and we're supposed to choose between a giant douche and a turd sandwich.
MRS. MARSH: What did you say?
MR. MARSH: Did you just say that voting is ridiculous?
STAN: No, I think voting is great, but if I have to choose between a douche and a turd, I just don’t see the point.
MR. MARSH: You don’t see the point? Oh, you young people just make me sick!
MRS. MARSH: Stanley, do you know how many people died so you could have the right to vote?
STAN: Well Mom, I just don’t think there’s much of a difference between a douche and a turd. I don’t care.
MR. MARSH: You don’t care! You really want a turd sandwich as your school mascot, on your football helmets, a turd!
MRS. MARSH: Well hold on Randy, I think a turd sandwich is a little better than them having a douche on their uniforms.
MR. MARSH: You’re crazy. A douche is at least clean!
MRS. MARSH: It’s sexist is what it is!
MR. MARSH: You don’t understand the issues, Sharon!
KYLE: Kenny, we have got to make Stan understand the importance of voting, because he’ll definitely vote for our guy.Eventually, a reluctant Stan decides to vote. The entire election is held up for his vote, which he casts amid great fanfare. The result?
Stan’s vote brings the total votes for turd sandwich to 36, and giant douche has 1,410. Giant douche still wins!That’s right, every vote counts. Now get out there and vote on November 2nd!