Turnabout Is Fair Play

David Sedaris cracks me up (registration required):

At the close of his reading to promote his latest book, the bestselling “Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim,” [David Sedaris] informed the sold-out crowd of 1,800 at UCLA’s Royce Hall that he would offer priority signing – for smokers.

A pack of cigarettes would usher the bearer to the front of the line, which, if it was anything like it’s been around the country, could be at least a four-to-five-hour wait. “You nonsmokers are going to live longer than us anyway,” he explained.

A wave of dubious chuckles rose from the crowd. The laughter gathered steam as Sedaris, installed behind an imposing podium, continued to lay down the rules: “And for those of you smokers who will think about giving your packs to the nonsmokers, I think you should ask yourself: ‘Would he let me smoke in his home?’ The answer is no.”

Heh.