Hey Buddy, Can Ya Spare a Two-Buck-Fifty?

Last night I had a dream about the new paper currency -- you know, the souped-up bills with enlarged portraits, water colors, ghost images, and so on. The U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing (BEP) had finally gotten around to releasing the new version of the $2 bill. And apparently they decided that as long as they were changing its look, they might as well change its denomination as well, so they turned it into a $2.50 bill. In my sleep, I thought this made sense because $10 is half of $20, $5 is half of $10, and $2.50 is half of $5. ($20 is not half of $50, and $1 is half of $2, not $2.50; but I guess my sleeping brain didn’t make it quite that far.)

Oddly, the BEP had also altered Thomas Jefferson’s portrait by giving him creepily piercing eyes with white pupils.