Restroom Rebuttals

My assertion below that men create bigger restroom messes than women has attracted a couple of responses. Apparently, there is some evidence that women’s restroom habits are even filthier than men’s. Geez, next you’ll be telling me that husband-beating is as common as wife-beating… oh, wait, Amy already told me that. Anyway, my sister Ellen sent me some choice comments on the cleanliness of women’s restrooms (which I’ve taken the liberty of expurgating somewhat). Read on if you dare, as this is not for the faint of heart:

Though I don't especially want to use a bathroom that guys are in, partly because girls go to the restroom to go talk about the guys they're with and do makeup touchups and such that should be kept secret from the guys during the first few outings/dates, I think bars may be an exception to the mess-rule. Girls after a few drinks, or maybe just girls in bars, I don't really know, are NASTY. They pee all over the damn seat (hello, you wouldn't have to hover, if you'd all just sit the hell down to pee and thus avoid messing up the seat for the next person, who will then have to hover, mess up the seat more, and so on...). Girls leave wads of toilet paper on the ground. Are they afraid of clogging the toilets? Who knows? … Soiled pads often don't make it to the trashcan, though I can't imagine why some girl over 21 wouldn't be using a tampon when she's out on the town looking hot. This is not to say that tampons always make it down the commode or to the trashcan either. Those can be lying around too. And I think girls are scared of their own feces! I can't tell you how many times I've walked into a restroom to find a turd still in the toilet from the last person. Why didn't she flush it? I mean it was HER turd. … I won't even go into the poop on the seats bit. I don't know how the hell that happens. … And then the sinks are clogged because apparently drunk girls think that the sink is just as good as the trash for throwing away paper towels after washing their hands. The ones that wash their hands, that is. Girls always go into the bathroom and do their business with only one free hand -- the other one is holding their drink. And then since one hand is needed to turn on the sink for the wiping hand to get washed, they just don't do it. Can't put down that drink! … It's actually kind of nice when girls go smoke in the stalls (Austin is beginning to crack down on smoking in public places), because that's often all they were doing, so they didn't worsen the mess during their stays in the stalls.

I stand corrected.